Reflections on a Birthday

Another circle around the sun is done; one more and it will be a round number of them again.

Reason to celebrate?
I don’t know.

Life just happens, for the most part, anyways.

Most of the time, most of us, we just let it happen to us.
Sure, we make some decisions, do or don’t do some things, but we hardly ever design much of our life.

Your Past, Your Interpretation

Design begins with the way we think about the past, though, and this is something we always do – but may want to shape, more consciously.

In the course of a life, to whatever extent it was set or a matter of the way the wind blew, there is a good chunk of the past that is mainly a matter of attitude and interpretation.

When I look at my life so far and I feel insecure about making a living (T -24 days until I’m out of my current employment), it’s all weird and wacky.

Schooling and education went pretty well, and then I missed the on-ramp into a career and the “success” of an ordinary life, with some semblance of stability and a pension account that is slowly filling.

Then again, had I “achieved” that, I would probably be wishing I’d had more diverse experiences and a bit more adventure.

When I look at my life so far and I think in terms of lifestyle design and adventure, it’s been good.

Double Ph.D. at 26, a year in Latvia, 3 years and later another half year in China; those are experiences that may feel not-so-special when I compare myself to people who’ve lived and worked in China for much longer and in better positions, but they aren’t really all that usual.

It’s just a matter of attitude and comparison, for motivation, not madness – as I myself recently wrote about.

Your Future, Your Doing

Now, of course, there’s also the need to look ahead, to where you can really design your life.

It requires work, though, and that effort is often hard to come by.

You ask yourself, “Can you really change, or at least influence, enough to make it worthwhile?“… and there’s the procrastination.

The trouble, especially for someone as prone to overthinking things as I am?

You need to try it.

Not in thinking and planning and trying to get it perfect before you ever start. Not held back by doubt if it can ever “work,” whatever that is even supposed to mean.

In the doing.

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